Monday, December 22, 2014

Failure to Commit


     Somewhere in the past few months, I have developed commitment issues. And no, I am not referring to any romantic reservations that I may have, but my commitment to any past notions of who I thought I was as a person. For too long, I have tried to hold on to any and every aspect about myself that the professional and collegiate world deemed valuable. I identified myself as an intern for Company X, the president of some extracurricular club, a second year undergrad at the University of Somewhere-Pretentious-That-Will-Hopefully-Connect-Me-With-A-Rewarding-Career. I was too caught up in how to answer the question, “What do you do?” from the Human Resources department of any organization in America. But somewhere along the way, I have come to realize that I am a beautiful and complex human creation, with more to offer than whatever is on my resume or fact sheet.


     This summer, I read #GIRLBOSS, a book written by Nasty Gal Founder and CEO Sophia Amoruso. In her inspiring part memoir, part guide to life, she shared George Bernard Shaw’s quote: “Life isn’t about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.” And with that, like Amoruso says, the world you live in is yours to create, blink by blink.


     I am not plainly a student of a university, but a student of the universe. I don’t fit into a box with predetermined, extrovert-based expectations or commitments. I won’t try to figure out who I am “right now,” nor will I tie myself down to a routine or niche. Who am I? That’s a big philosophical question that I’m burying along with all expectations and disappointments. I mean, who am I? There is no specific answer, because that person is evolving with every thought that crosses my mind in real time. For example, I've been working on fashion illustrations, but I’m not trying to reemerge as the next best draftsman of my generation. I’m simply following a hobby with a curiosity of where it takes me. I piece together who I am one day, interest, and experience at a time.


     So here I am, yet again, attempting to breathe life back into this blog as awkwardly and determinedly as making moves on an old flame. The inspiration for this photo essay, and the many like it to come, revolves around the idea that no one fits into a box. The models (my friends) represent the young adults of today, happy with figuring out who they are and what life is by their own terms. My fascination peaks whenever I see a personality shine through a label, and my goal is to document these moments and keep a running record.


     If you’d like to follow my progression overtime, be my guest. You can find whatever I create and want to share with the world on a number of social media sites. If you take only one message away from me today, let this resonate: let go of any ideas you have of who you are, and truly follow whatever it is you want to do in life. It may not be the most convenient transition, and you’ll face some bumps in the road, but becoming who you want to be is always worth it.

     
     On my end, I won’t commit to having a post to you every day or every week, but I will commit to sharing my work and myself with you on my own time. Not because it’s what I feel I have to do, but because it’s what I want to do.


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